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Hoah, time after time - I think am I doing a right thing. Moving to another city, wtf? I've missed my home a lot. Or, place I used to live with my mom. It's home tho.

But, in other hand - why not? If I would live at home still - I would regret about not moving away from home. It's complicated but you know.

Tomorrow I go there and watch my friends, yeah. It will be great! And, yes. I will love 'em all. I hope I'm safe from any drama scenes, haha. And I hope me and my mother can watch some film - eat pizza made by her.

Eh, eh, eh - Nothing else to say

I'm tired, I've been tired all week. I dunno why, maybe it's just some kind of burn out or sumthin like that, I don't care really, tonight I've to do something funny and brilliant. I dunno what... but yeah. Everything in time..

He looked me today. It was strange and I felt like my heart pops out of my chest. Yeah, I hate having crush on somebody usually. Nowadays too, but - no can do. It's not like I would like to be in relationship, it's just - I want to know him better.

 

And I hate it when I can't think with my brains and stuff, my feelings are taking control all over again.

I was btw thinking, which one is more gross - Johanna Tukiainen or Divine? Johanna Tukiainen, absolutely.

I maybe should make some calls to my friends, so I would know what we're gonna do tonight.

Someday I will say goodbye for a long time

Foreign countries, haa, where would I go if I had a chance? To be honest, everywhere. Doesn't really matter. I want to see it all.

I would love to see it all. It means a lot to me.

School and days

School, school I love to go. I'll try to do my everything just to stay here and read me throught so I can keep on livin' my life. This is just one station here, even if I somedays hate to go there or be there and I just want to pack my bags and go somewhere. I'll stay here three years. So, dear who-ever-you-are give me some power to stay here and study.

Does it really matter?

Gay, lesbian, bi, bi-curious, asexual, straight - what ever you are. Does it matter?

I've thought this so many times. Other people should too. If you iss a girl, it won't make you lesbian, it won't make u any less straight. If boy hugs a boy, it wont make him more gay or less straight. Sexuality it's not so black and white!

Look - well if u're straight you don't try to actract every which one on street who is opposite sex, why would gays or lesbians do that? Maybe u don't actract them. I hate it so much, when I hear people saying "Ohh, I heard he/she is homo - he/she is so gonna try me!" No they won't. They are people, just like you. So, c'mon.

I think people who are fall in love are so cute, straightners, lesbians, gays - almost every couple who loves each others.

I hope someday people will get over it, that people likes different people. Somebody thinks womans body is the most ugliest thing in the world, somebody never could even touch a man.

I don't really know am I straight or bi, but no hurry. Time will show.

Btw, I never did anything to my no-cigarets problem. But now I have one cig. I wait couple hours, then I smoke it with all enjoy I can have.

Tired steps

Okay, boring day again. Ahah, joking. But seriously, not much to do. I don't have even one half cigarette, it's the most big problem right now. I thought if I go for my neighbours.. but.. I'm not gonna show that I'm that hooked on.
School was today ok.

I looked terrible in school, I hope nobody didn't notice my flat hair, tired make upless eyes and old hoodie.
In morning I hate myself 'cause I was awake after 00:00. Yeah.

 

Yeah, I feel excatly like that, when I get home I promise to myself I go to sleep, but when I'm at home I'm not sleepy anymore.

School, hmmm. Three years left. Then I'm free to do whatever I want, and that's the part I'm waiting for. It makes me more happier to live alone and do things how I want, it's more easier to me and works for me. But it's not any dream, not at all if you thought it! I've lived four days without any money or "real" food. Today I ate in school. But still, I dont have anymore anything else than some noodles and tea. And trust me, noodles lose their taste when u've ate them couple months. But I won't complain, this is what I choosed and I'm happier here, even if my good friends are in other city, but I see them time after time. I don't forget them or stop lovin' them.

 

I should clean up, bad sides of livin' alone. But I think I go and try to do sumthin with this no-cigaret thing. 

Person who is dreaming

Who am I excatly? Who is this person who writes here?

Not much to tell ya, but I'm not yet eighteen but I'm over ten years old. I've been in bad relationships and I don't know everything about my family. My mom is still the most important person in my life, I have friends who live in other city. I live alone and I like to dance, listen to music and seeing something new. I never haven't been in California or Spain, but my roots are from there. And one of my dreams are to travel there, California dreamin', should I say?

What is my favourite music? Mando Diao, Sex Pistols, Misfits and when I'm partying I love listening Daft Punk and good rock. Music is the thing, which makes me happy, lustful, sad.. everything. I can feel it in my bones, when I really listen to good music, I feel like being drugs. Yeah.

I've good self-esteem, I love pizza, sushi and food. Wearing black is my things, being me - is my thing.

That's pretty much me, honestly.