Eh, eh, eh - Nothing else to say

I'm tired, I've been tired all week. I dunno why, maybe it's just some kind of burn out or sumthin like that, I don't care really, tonight I've to do something funny and brilliant. I dunno what... but yeah. Everything in time..

He looked me today. It was strange and I felt like my heart pops out of my chest. Yeah, I hate having crush on somebody usually. Nowadays too, but - no can do. It's not like I would like to be in relationship, it's just - I want to know him better.

 

And I hate it when I can't think with my brains and stuff, my feelings are taking control all over again.

I was btw thinking, which one is more gross - Johanna Tukiainen or Divine? Johanna Tukiainen, absolutely.

I maybe should make some calls to my friends, so I would know what we're gonna do tonight.

Someday I will say goodbye for a long time

Foreign countries, haa, where would I go if I had a chance? To be honest, everywhere. Doesn't really matter. I want to see it all.

I would love to see it all. It means a lot to me.

Tired steps

Okay, boring day again. Ahah, joking. But seriously, not much to do. I don't have even one half cigarette, it's the most big problem right now. I thought if I go for my neighbours.. but.. I'm not gonna show that I'm that hooked on.
School was today ok.

I looked terrible in school, I hope nobody didn't notice my flat hair, tired make upless eyes and old hoodie.
In morning I hate myself 'cause I was awake after 00:00. Yeah.

 

Yeah, I feel excatly like that, when I get home I promise to myself I go to sleep, but when I'm at home I'm not sleepy anymore.

School, hmmm. Three years left. Then I'm free to do whatever I want, and that's the part I'm waiting for. It makes me more happier to live alone and do things how I want, it's more easier to me and works for me. But it's not any dream, not at all if you thought it! I've lived four days without any money or "real" food. Today I ate in school. But still, I dont have anymore anything else than some noodles and tea. And trust me, noodles lose their taste when u've ate them couple months. But I won't complain, this is what I choosed and I'm happier here, even if my good friends are in other city, but I see them time after time. I don't forget them or stop lovin' them.

 

I should clean up, bad sides of livin' alone. But I think I go and try to do sumthin with this no-cigaret thing. 

Person who is dreaming

Who am I excatly? Who is this person who writes here?

Not much to tell ya, but I'm not yet eighteen but I'm over ten years old. I've been in bad relationships and I don't know everything about my family. My mom is still the most important person in my life, I have friends who live in other city. I live alone and I like to dance, listen to music and seeing something new. I never haven't been in California or Spain, but my roots are from there. And one of my dreams are to travel there, California dreamin', should I say?

What is my favourite music? Mando Diao, Sex Pistols, Misfits and when I'm partying I love listening Daft Punk and good rock. Music is the thing, which makes me happy, lustful, sad.. everything. I can feel it in my bones, when I really listen to good music, I feel like being drugs. Yeah.

I've good self-esteem, I love pizza, sushi and food. Wearing black is my things, being me - is my thing.

That's pretty much me, honestly.

I know how to make my day

I don't feel good, my eyes are hurting, head is aching and my throat hurts when I breath.
But still, I feel awesome, I love my window - I see everything from it, cars, peoples, couples, who is smoking, who is going to shop, whos coming from shop. Sometimes, when I hate myself and everything, I just take one cigarette and go to watch world going by. It really calms me down.

Have u ever noticed so little things in the world? Everyone is too busy all the time, today was raining, streets are all shiny, dark and I can see the reflection of streetlamps. Rain in the city is beautiful thing to watch anyways. I hope someday I watch it somewhere else, far away from here.

 

Have u ever thought different languages? Or stereotypies? I've, I think pretty much them - 'cause I like them. Different languages, peoples, countries.

France sounds romantic, peaceful. It's hard to think french people curse or yelling each others. 

Germany sounds a bit flirty, or sometimes angry. To me.

British england sounds innocent and maybe a bit shy - it's cute.

Etc, have u ever thought?

I'm sick and tired, like Anastasia says. I should probably get some sleep, tomorrow I still try to go school and make myself proud.

 

Aa'ah, aa'ah

Aa'ah aaa'ah

It's excatly how I feel now,

I know there's no way to go down.

Aa'ah, aa'ah

I know how to make my day,

Everyone knows what I gave.

Aa'ah, aa'ah

Life gives me my entertain,

and I know how to play this game.

nimetön, SH_BTBT - minä