Person who is dreaming

Who am I excatly? Who is this person who writes here?

Not much to tell ya, but I'm not yet eighteen but I'm over ten years old. I've been in bad relationships and I don't know everything about my family. My mom is still the most important person in my life, I have friends who live in other city. I live alone and I like to dance, listen to music and seeing something new. I never haven't been in California or Spain, but my roots are from there. And one of my dreams are to travel there, California dreamin', should I say?

What is my favourite music? Mando Diao, Sex Pistols, Misfits and when I'm partying I love listening Daft Punk and good rock. Music is the thing, which makes me happy, lustful, sad.. everything. I can feel it in my bones, when I really listen to good music, I feel like being drugs. Yeah.

I've good self-esteem, I love pizza, sushi and food. Wearing black is my things, being me - is my thing.

That's pretty much me, honestly.

Music and happiness

Why breathing hurts this much? Ouch.

Anssi Kela, I listened him like four years ago. It's weird. So much memories. Too much. When I listen to "Milla", I remember how I was awake whole night talking to people in MSN and drawing pictures, the morning sun was rising and I tried to sleep but I couldn't 'cause it wasn't dak enough.
"Mikan faijan BMV", sunset in fields, that's what comes to my mind. I remember how I just walked around, listening to music same time. Feel's like it's been forever from that.
"Puistossa" ha, I think of my class. I remember when one boy from our class was singin' this during some lessons. Dark fall nights, that's what I'm thinking atm.
"Rakkaus on murhaa" I feel a bit sad when I'm listening to this. But this song is something really beautyful.

Music, have u ever thought how much it keep memories? Everytime when I listen to Marilyn Manson, I remember when I was on his gig. When I listen to Sugababes, I remember when I was on 5th grade and I loved them. The Cure, when I was on 7th and thought my life was in correct situation. Mando Diao, I remember the most important things to me, but still - I listen to them and making new memories. Like always. I love music. It keeps so many things in my mind, so many friends, so many situations, so many happy moments. Music.

Today I didn't go to school, 'cause I'm sick. I'm freezing under hundreds of blankets. And I can't swallow, or yes I can, but it hurts.

Hmh, I should maybe clean up. I still have those cider bottles on my desks. Soon I go and do something to my thrashes.

But people, think of music, what it brings in your mind? Why? One good reason to love music.

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I know how to make my day

I don't feel good, my eyes are hurting, head is aching and my throat hurts when I breath.
But still, I feel awesome, I love my window - I see everything from it, cars, peoples, couples, who is smoking, who is going to shop, whos coming from shop. Sometimes, when I hate myself and everything, I just take one cigarette and go to watch world going by. It really calms me down.

Have u ever noticed so little things in the world? Everyone is too busy all the time, today was raining, streets are all shiny, dark and I can see the reflection of streetlamps. Rain in the city is beautiful thing to watch anyways. I hope someday I watch it somewhere else, far away from here.

 

Have u ever thought different languages? Or stereotypies? I've, I think pretty much them - 'cause I like them. Different languages, peoples, countries.

France sounds romantic, peaceful. It's hard to think french people curse or yelling each others. 

Germany sounds a bit flirty, or sometimes angry. To me.

British england sounds innocent and maybe a bit shy - it's cute.

Etc, have u ever thought?

I'm sick and tired, like Anastasia says. I should probably get some sleep, tomorrow I still try to go school and make myself proud.

 

Aa'ah, aa'ah

Aa'ah aaa'ah

It's excatly how I feel now,

I know there's no way to go down.

Aa'ah, aa'ah

I know how to make my day,

Everyone knows what I gave.

Aa'ah, aa'ah

Life gives me my entertain,

and I know how to play this game.

nimetön, SH_BTBT - minä

If u're not sure, let it be

I don't feel really good tonight, yesterday night was awesome. Night before that night, I just don't wanna think about it. Now my friend is here with me, I think she is sleeping - even if she said that she won't sleep.

I think, I won't do some things in my life for a long time, just 'cause I've had them enough at the moment. I know, I know, life must go on. I'm never sad to be honest, I just always start thinking something else. This is the first time for a long time I really hope that feeling just could go away. Strange.

Well, the most important person in my life says "Don't take anything to your shoulders, if you're not sure you did it." I know. I'm not sure still, but I know that you're there for me - mother.
She is the most important person in my whole life, she help me always when I need it, always. And there is no a thing, saying - anything, she could'nt forgive me.

So - 1, 2 ,3
Let it be, your words sounds like shit, you see?
4, 5, 6
There is nothing to fix, only feelings you could mix.
Well - 7, 8, 9
Don't pretend you're fine, I see how you're slowly dieing

New Steps, SH_BTBT

From New York city to the San Fransisco Bay

Ulkona on aurinkoista eikä minulla ole rahaa enempää kuin 34 senttiä tilillä. Surullista, kaapissa on vain muroja, muroja, nuudeleita, puuroa, savujuustoa ja ehkä hitusen verran kaakaota ja maitoa. Tänään aijon syödä tomaattikeittoa, eilen söin pizzaa - liikaa pizzaa. Tupakoinnin lopettaminen näkyy ainankin syömisessäni. Syön kuin sika, oksetan itseäni. En tule kylläiseksi sitten millään. Minulla on enään yksi syöpäkääryle tuossa ikkunallani. Himoitsen sitä kokoajan, mutta kello tulee vasta puoli seitsemän. Voin kyllä kestää vielä pari tuntia ilman sitä.

Musiikki on ihanaa, nyt kuuntelen Mando Diaota. Se on yksi sadasta lempibändistäni, Mandot ovat ehkä kumminkin se tärkein.

Nyt tomaattikeittoa. Sen jälkeen koulujuttuja, sen jälkeen ehkä kävely sateen raikastamassa kaupungissa.